January 29, 2006
after a gazillion years..i went back to my old church (the one that i kinda abandoned 5 years ago for chc).not much changes exteriorly,esp since they had a huge revamp only a few years ago.the secondary hall (they call it fu4 tang2) looks exactly how it did when i congregated there at least 10 years ago for children's church.the main sanctuary looked shockingly smaller cos they cornered the back off for smaller rooms i.e. nursery, sound console, media room.
saw lotsa people i havent seen for a long time.most people look the same.some changed dramatically.but basically everyone was shocked by my presence.most prob aggravated by the fact that i wore a tube into the hall.i forgot i wasnt back at city harvest church expo hall 8.heh.
caught a glance at gordon when his little bro took his phone n wallet (which he left at the seat i took) and passed it back to him.he smiled at me.mayb cos it was seriously a glance that i didnt recognize him at all.merely wondered to myself how did this rather good looking guy come to this church.amazing.
but oh well.just eye candy.
Michelle called at
3:45 PM
January 24, 2006
Michelle called at
10:35 PM
January 23, 2006
i was having the usual discussion about my dad's flaws on my way home when my mum suddenly popped the question: have you ever thought of what would you do if i divorced your dad?
i was seriously stunned.i never ever expected this question to emerged ever again.
i answered: i used to think of it..but i 've never never thought of it anymore.
as a kid..i thought over this question as often as i breathed.with 2 extra marital affairs under his belt..it's no surprise that divorce was constantly on the cards.i remembered weeping and begging my mum not to have a divorce because i'll lose my paternal cousins.that was when i was really close to my cousins and i was just a kid.
seriously..its a thought that should never cross a child's mind.it's traumatic.
Michelle called at
7:20 PM
January 19, 2006
today is a day of a few "firsts".
firstly (that's the first first..) i've decided to blog more intellectual posts cos enoch commended that im smart.his evidence - my blog.muahaha.
secondly i bound my first book today!it's like the first time in my life i ever used a binder to fix a whole compilation together k?!darn.that was so bimbo.im not dumb.im intellectual.
then..it's the first time of the year (duh lah.year just started) my phone died on me and it's really bad cos i was meeting yuyi for movie and he was late.
and first time in my whole entire life..i watched a movie alone.scream loser!sigh.sucha dumb miscommunication thanks to my die-d phone.yuyi..blame it on enoch.he talked to me for an hour in the aftnn and that killed my poor battery big time.
and the last first (this one is anyhow shove in to hopefully appease yuyi one).. first time i met yuyi in like 6 months.was quite a terrible meeting though.he waited outside the theatre for like 2 hours cos i was holding onto the tix n God knows how late he was going to be.ended up he was only late for 10mins.heh.
anyway..the loser (aka me) watched memoirs of geisha today.it was tremendously good.one of the best enactment of a book i've seen so far.
man..can i write a lit essay to show off my intellect?
unfortunately i cant cos i dont do lit.haha.but anyway..though i read the book..i never read thought much about the theme until enoch mentioned it in our battery-draining conversation this aftnn.in summary..it's conformity.
how did geisha probably come about?so called artist and yet more widely publicized as sex toys.it's as if these women had already resigned to their fate to being played by men (the narrator mentioned in the end of the show that geishas can never be wives.they're just half-wives) and they try to comfort their own resignation and conformity by building this rigid system that they so firmly stick to.so called discipline and honour and all within this "society" might just be reflective of their desire to be integrated into the japanese society that highly values these virtues as well.
and i like the style of filming too.i rarely notice such stuff but this one really struck me.it's as if i began to notice and be more aware of the little details the director and all tried to inject.i especially liked the way they portrayed the love betwen the leads.even i felt lovey-dovey at the end of the show.
ok.brain is tired.at least i blogged a paragraph of intellectual works.
Michelle called at
11:50 PM
January 13, 2006
was on my way to work when i heard a commentary on the recent civil exercise.it was an interesting exchange as it really gave me more perspectives.
of course there was the usual complaint about the "fakeness" of the exercise and the slow response of the public.but i never bothered to delve into the root (prob cos im getting lazy to think more nowadays) - the lack of fear.
as the djs and their guests commented,singaporeans lack that kind of fear that will compel people to move in the event a siren is raised for emergency purpose.i mean..just look at the fire drills we have in sch.
i remembered in ac..mr chan dashed into physics class exceptionally early that day (he's usually at least 10mins late for lessons) and insisted that we quickly start lesson and then unknowingly (im sure) divulged that we'll be having a fire drill 30mins into his lesson.what a surprise right.ha!
and when i was back in ij..some joker pulled the fire alarm during a band practice.the bell just kept ringing (and mind u it was a real (fake) fire alarm..as in it isn't a drill) and we, being so exhausted from a whole morning of school and another 2 hours of blowing and beating,just sat there and not moved an inch.if it was a real fire..i would have been sitting in an urn in powdery form.sheesh.
well..the guests on that radio show came a positive example,which unfortunately and yet obviously,that didn't come from local context.she mentioned that the foreigners,especially the brits,always head off first when a fire alarm is raised.reason?they had bad experiences of such disasters that took away hundreds upon thousands of lives.does that mean singapore need to experience such stuff before she wakes up?
Michelle called at
9:10 AM
January 12, 2006
it's been a rather exciting day.it's my first presentation in the real world.well..im still sorta sheltered and all..but im finally applying what i've learned for the past 15 years in school!
alrighto.better not get big-headed.i think God is really good to me.i've certainly learned a lot.
i was really immature yesterday..but thank God i didnt throw a nasty tantrum.phew.
Michelle called at
2:39 PM
January 9, 2006
doesnt everything just boil down to our relationship with God?
well..i've long read of or heard of this statement before.but it became a true revelation just a second ago.no longer just head knowledge..but a personal truth to me.
been reading a lot of passages and listening to sermons (particularly joyce meyer over the weekend) that tells me that i have to FOCUS on God.basically it means i have to depend on my love for God. everything simply begins from that relationship with God.
(apology here.do pardon me if it isn't very coherent.i surely aint coherent and perhaps that explains my GP grade too)
as i'm starting the new year's bible reading,i officially started on matthew and genesis a week ago.so don't mind me if i quote more on those 2 books.most revelation for the year came from there.
matt 7:21-23 goes : "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"
i vaguely remembered the last time i discussed this verse was many years ago with daniel chiang.he asked for my opinion of the verse and i replied that it refers to those who didnt have a real relationship with God aka lukewarm/nominal christians.of course being an irritating ri boy,daniel had to argue that he didnt agree with my interpretation. now that i think back about it...my argument was kinda flawed too.what about those people who received their salvation only on their deathbed?where would that leave them?in heaven?or down with Devil.
what i've understood so far (including what i've received this morning) has yet to answer my questions.might have to ask pastor another day.
basically what i've received this morning was on those few words i italized - "he who does the will of my Father." well,if i had read this a year ago,while still rather childish in my spirit and thinking,i would have immediately prayed "God, tell me which areas you want me to serve more in.I want to do your will." but the recuperating michelle has now another perspective of it all.
key word: will of God.what is the will of God for all our lives?basically it's found in matt 22:37-40 "Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
the way i interpret it : the will of God is for us to love Him with all our heart, all our soul and all our mind.you might argue that i'm forgetting the second commandment but 1john 4 has already helped me argue : "We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." i rest my case.
the first thing i've mentioned is that everything boils down to this mutual love with God.the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians (joy,peace,patience,kindness,goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control) are born out of this love.the obedience,mercy,sacrifice we weekly talk about is brought forth because we love God and we want to do these things for Him.how we love other people - our spouses, our parents, our siblings, our friends, our cellgroup members etc. - do depend wholely on this love.if this love is absent,our relationships with others, due to the lack of some fruits of the Spirit,will inevitably have a defect.
rather incoherent.but do be understandable.it's hari raya eve (aka eve of a holiday),it's raining (meaning that i should be in bed instead of what im doing) and i'm at work (that's the most God-forbidden situation).but God is still good and will always be good.
Michelle called at
2:19 PM
January 6, 2006
i think im amused by really trivial stuff.first it was enoch,now it's my sister.
i came into the office this morning to see lots of msn messages on the desktop of this comp.apparently i didnt manage to sign off yesterday and thus all the messages flooded in.then i noticed one by my sister at approximately 9pm.it went something like this:
"who are you?"
she must be wondering who is the stalker or someone like that who hacked into her sister's account since her sister is obviously snoring on the bed already.haha.
anyway.i'm really full from breakfast to do anything.crap.
Michelle called at
8:57 AM
January 4, 2006
i have to blog this. my conversation with enoch last night was UTTERLY amusing.
you should have heard the way he gushed about the girl he likes.i felt like i was watching some chick flick where a guy described how he felt towards a girl to his other guy friends.i have never ever imagined myself to be the listener.man.this sure lands into my "My First Time..." book.haha.
and he seems to have prepared what to talked to me about.that reminds me of a show i watched on cable where this guy literally had a whole notepad of things he should say over the phone to the girl he was trying to woo.he actually checked them off one by one.well..im not implying that our dear mr enoch does the same thing.mayb he does..but that's another story.
yea.that sure made my dad.esp after my dad abandoned me at some place we had meeting without my wallet and with a laptop and a projector to carry.u shud have seen the way i lugged those 2 from the car, of some kind soul that brought me home, on my heels.i swear i nearly lost my balance at least twice.
life in the new year has been good.cheers to 2006