May 31, 2003
man.im up so freaking early.i woke up at like 630.all thanks to ms jo pay.woke up n switched on the lights n the tv.such a noisy pest.argh.
just replied his message.i feel so stupid.y m i still infatuated with him after like so long.i mean..its over a year already.i feel like a pest.i feel as if im just trying to keep pestering him.wad freak.i was in a super lovey dovey mood like on thurs nite.i must b mad.just because we smsed the whole nite doesnt mean much rite??argh!it means a lot to me.freak freak freak.tis is so contradicting.wads wrong with me!arhhh!!
i feel so disappointed with myself.upset.irritated.i cant stand myself.y do i not learn to grab opportunities when they r wad i exactly wanted and they r like dangling straight before.it was practically effortless to catch them.freak.its about to repeat itself soon.i tnk i wud end up commiting the same mistake.i never learn i guess.
sigh.i feel so heavy hearted bloggng 2dae.upset.
-why-
Michelle called at
8:40 AM
May 29, 2003
i finally freakingly changed the template.the last time i took like 30000 years n it just wont switch.haha.
yay.exams r over.no sch tomorrow.yay.i can slack for all i care.i just watched bruce almighty today.its so super lame.nice show.teaches people to rely more on prayers.haha.but i dont really like the thought of portraying god as a human.guess it was done to reflect on the idea that people always think they can do better than god.but Hes the alpha and omega.the beginning and the end.how could any of His creations surpass Him!?haha.
we received that stupid personality test we did the other time.haha.im a so called advisor in a group.actually out of the 7 of us (qi didnt attend),5 of us were advisors.haha.all the steady n relational people.haha.only cindy is the dominating one.pau is some technician crap.oso dunno wads the main characteristic of that.the career match were dumb.the "advisors" had jobs that mainly related with yakking.all the salesman crap.there was even a preschool teacher one.haha.but pau's the worst la.all the rubbish jobs.refuse collectors-garbage collectors-baker-salad maker(?)-candy maker.all so rubbish one.she is too slack thats y.nid to work on her personality la.
haha.mummy n daddy r leavin 4 korea 2ml.mum kinda forced her way through by shouting at my dad.he must b guilty to relent.wad a loser.he should learn his lesson.after 2 tests..n he learned nothing.man.is this regarded as dishonouring the parents?
mum is giving us $100 bucks for the next 3 days.no.its not $100 per person.its $100 for 3 person for 3 days.thats roughly $11 a day.actually its quite ok la.y am i complaining?haha
i wanna watch wad a girl wants on sat.haha.before cg.yay yay yay.oh well.its so freaking long liao.betta go off now.ciao
-noexams-
Michelle called at
10:31 PM
May 27, 2003
freak cant.
Michelle called at
3:49 PM
my sore throat is still bad.hai.so difficult to swallow and all.but im still eating all the heaty stuff.how contradicting.
2 more papers to go n im free.for the moment.
so tired.so tired
-so tired-
Michelle called at
3:40 PM
May 26, 2003
im upset.im upset.i cried like 3 times already.ok la.not exactly torrents of tears but its still significant la.
freak freak freak.so irritated.men r just so insensible.hold on..if they r sensible..they wont b called men
ah!!
-freak-
Michelle called at
9:08 PM
haha.noe wad.i found out who is the jared guy liao.haha.actually i found out on sat nite.just that i forgot to update.its shunjing la.i thought it was his at first.but den when i read on i began to doubt coz the person seemed to belong to rimb.so weird.shunjing is frm acs wad.aiyah.i oso duno how does things end up that way.haha.so weird one.
aniwae.i haf tis really severe sore throat.theres this thing growing inside my throat.i so can feel it.its so painful.i prayed over it liao.but nothing happened.i guess healing depends on our level of faith.mine must be pit bottom.
aniwae.i finally grabbed the bible and started my qt all over again.i hope i wont falter and fail again.its not good for that to happen.sigh.ya.the bible is new thanx to dearie sally.yay.love her man.haha.
oh well.betta go mug geog.havent started on it at all.
-sorethroat!-
Michelle called at
6:59 PM
May 24, 2003
i feel so freaking sticky.read a blog by tis guy called jared last nite.i wonder hus that.he seemed to be in n109 before.in n175 now i guess.i wonder hus that.wanna noe leh.
haha.just accidentaly came upon alice's blog oso.went to jeri's web frm there den to ryan's web from jeri's.haha.so connected.gosh.i miss jeri.wad happened to her!?saw gangwei's foto in ryan's webbie oso.miss him oso.come back people!
man.i felt so dry at today's cg.it was supposed to be a great time.but i couldnt feel anithing.its my fault la.i have been neglecting my quiet time and all.but..i just dont feel anithing.im supposed to be so scared but i actually aint feeling anithing.i just dont feel anithing!tis is crap.ahhh!!
-pieceofcrap-
Michelle called at
8:12 PM
May 23, 2003
yay.no school today.but cant slack.must mug bio.i nearly fell asleep just reading it.so boring!!!nevermind.i shall go n make my ezlink card later.shall return my sister's asap..esp since she insisted that she needs it tomorrow.
jasmine reminded me of the meet-the-people session crap.man.i dont even noe ani details.i heard its tomorrow.how irritating.
-mpsession.sheesh-
Michelle called at
9:50 AM
May 22, 2003
sheesh.today's chem was quite crap.haha.i mugged like mad last minute last nite.i finished the paper so early that i thought i left out one whole section or wad.but i still got a lot of errors.alot of things that i totally forgot.sheesh.dont care liao.must mug on the rest.
mdm is gave us so mani hints.haha.so farnee.okie okie.shall go sit ard now.
-wadsmore-
Michelle called at
12:23 PM
May 21, 2003
ahh!!chem sux.still got so mani chapters to go.im going to die again.2dae's math was so super difficult.the vectors part especially.i nearly cried when i handed up the paper.so saddening!i hate school
Michelle called at
10:07 PM
May 20, 2003
ooh.yay.ss exam is over.its so tough.sure fail liao.haha.the only thing im hapy bout is that i get to come home early.ok.can slack now.cya ard
-sssux-
Michelle called at
10:35 AM
May 18, 2003
i didnt go for service today.i wonder why too.i just gave a super silly excuse:study.i feel weary.i felt it since i returned from choir practice yesterdae.sister annabel was telling us not to feel weary,but i feel even more tired now.
but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength.they shall soar on wings like eagles,they shall run and not grow weary.they shall walk and not be faint
isit because of him that it all happened?i dat im so preoccupied with him again.i remembered i took like a few months to get him out of mind lor.now its all back.the problems are all back again.i duno how to face it.mayb it was what pastor wanted me to tell him.
Michelle called at
3:16 PM
May 17, 2003
yay.finally finished my new blogger page.muahaha.took so long.since last nite leh.haha.but have to take such a long time cos im super inefficient.haha.aniwae i haf to specify that all "contributions" are from pau's webbie.haha.actually its not contributions but pirated la.haha.
had bible study wif pastor yesterdae.i spent quite a lot of time running around before pastor decided to haf the bible study at suntec.haha.so mahfan.n wad a coincidence..met yuyi at some ns thingy in suntec.haha.so unexpected.
went to study at the church's tuition centre after the bs.got tis irritating guy kept opening the door facing me and irritate me.ah wadeva la.haha.i dont understand why i stood at the 2nd level and watch yuyi's performance for 30 whole minutes.sheesh.mayb i still cant forget him.went for dinner with him when we coincidentally met at the escalator again.
i kept thinking bout him the whole night and this morning.i feel so troubled yet i dont wanna face it.i wanna noe the answer yet i dont wanna hear it.argh.irritating.how how how.i wanna tell pastor but duno how.i somehow cant bear to "lose" yuyi though i never had him.wad crap.freak freak freak
-troubled-
Michelle called at
7:56 PM
May 15, 2003
ok.shall be another fast one.haha.always not enough time.
aniwae.cell was at that nice villa place.haha.it was quite fun..except the birthday celebration part.guess everyone was too excited to inform pastor,though he was like right beside him.me and pastor were like "what?whats happening?"haha.yah la.should always let pastor do it.but it was quite fun la.they threw kenneth and jodie [is that how his name i spelt?] into the pool and smashed kenneth's head into his cake.haha.
went for the smu thing after cell.didnt noe minyi,winnie and jean were going.should have asked pauline to go also.aniwae minyi got first,winnie second.jean couldnt breathe properly so she didnt do that well.haha.chinfang oso went..but didnt run.so sad.haha.theres a new gossip bout chinfang.so exciting.i shall tell everyone bout it tomorrow.muahahahaha.
dad is angry with me cos i went out.sheesh.hope he doesnt ground me from church this sunday.ahhh!!cannot cannot!!oki oki.i must go do my quiet time now.might be back if theres time.haha
-smu-
Michelle called at
7:44 PM
May 13, 2003
oh.shall write a short and fast one.
today's english paper sux.i nearly fell asleep reading it.but amazingly,the questions all seemed so superficial.the summary was bad.i misintepretated the question.no wonder i felt like there was too much time.haha.
cellgroup at that sungrove place tis thurs.cheuk wanted to go for breakfast but decided not since shes dieting and i felt fat too.haha.
aniwae.did a real embarrassing thing on sunday.sheesh
-tittering-
Michelle called at
10:16 PM
May 5, 2003
upset.angry.disappointed.i haf nothing within me except that.my mood is rock bottom low now.sigh
fe refused to talk to me for over a week.the only thing she said to me today was "something like tt".sheesh.so upsetting.they were discussing bout pau's bdae and didnt even ask me anything though im like right beside them.man.i noe i sound dam petty..but its dam exasperating oso.im determined to call her and sort things out.its not good to haf such knots in friendships.sigh
-friendsdisappearingact-
Michelle called at
6:16 PM
May 3, 2003
haha.long time since i came back.getting tired of it i guess
been feeling pretty restless recently.havent been going out with xu n fe since the beginning of the term.i guess they realised the change and no longer asked me to join them.sheesh.all my fault la.cant blame them.sigh.
rushed for cellgroup in the aftnn rite after school.i shudnt have taken tt silly 166.it went around chinatown lor!!!i spent like 1 hr on the bus and i didnt even reach there.haha.boon kiat ordered me to get off the bus and reach the place in 10 mins time.so i caught a cab and rushed there.but the silly uncle didnt noe where blk 460.i had to pay him for going the wrong direction and spend another 30 mins brisk walking and running to find the place.my leg nearly broke off after that.
haha.but the cellgroup was quite good la.boon kiat led it.den me and ryan rushed to church for choir.haha.met daniel at the interchange and we took a cab to church at dan's expense.cool sia.
i bought my eyeshadow too.i nearly didnt haf enough.luckili dan's mum picked us up..if not i wont haf been able to get the eyeshadow.my first blessing of the month!!
oh well.toked so much liao.till then.bye!
-choirtomorrow-